It’s the best day of year on the man calendar and Roger Goodell and DeMaurice Smith want to take it away from us. No, not the release date for SI Swimsuit issue. I’m talking about the first Sunday of the NFL season.
Soak it in now boys because this time next year we might be seeing scrappy-dos playing or even worse… gulp… no pro football at all. Sorry UFL, but until you get more than like five teams, I’m not calling your product professional.
I can just see myself in mid-November of the strike season, so desperate for NFL action that I’m betting on simulated Madden games on my PS3.
I’ll lose the right to be undisturbed in my man cave Sunday afternoons and Monday nights. Instead, I’ll be forced to take the wife to the latest Reese Witherspoon movie and I’ll be working double duty changing poopy diapers.
All of this will happen because the players and owners of the most profitable sports league in the world don’t know how to share.
Roger, DeMaurice… think about what you’re doing to me. You’re killing Independent Ashton!
Okay, the self-pitying part of this column is over. Let me breakdown how this weekly feature works for all you NFL Underdogs newbies out there.
Every week, I pick out my three favorite plays for teams catching points. I expect you, the reader, to send thank you e-cards every time I go three for three and sincere, hand-written sympathy notes any week I post a bagel.
Or you can just call me four-letter words - like most people do - in the comment boxes below. Whatever’s easiest.
Detroit Lions (+7) at Chicago Bears
Football Outsiders just wrote a piece talking about how you should start Jay Cutler and any Chicago receiver you have on your fantasy team because they
project the Lions’ secondary to be really, really bad again this season.
But other smart men have told me to buy les Lions.
“No team improved more this offseason than Detroit,” Covers Expert Ted Sevransky told me on Wednesday afternoon.
I’m down with Teddy. I love the revamped defensive line and I think Matt Stafford will make a big jump this year.
And don’t forget, the Lions have the Schwartz.
Pick: Lions
Atlanta Falcons at Pittsburgh Steelers (+1.5)
This line is all about the Big Ben factor. You have to think Pittsburgh would be a 5 or 6-point favorite if Mr. No-Means-Yes was on the field.
I’ll take the discount price on the Yellow and Black. The Steelers have shown they can win without Roethlisberger. Fill-in QB Dennis Dixon is an athletic guy, who can make big plays with his arm or his legs.
Pick: Steelers
Carolina Panthers (+7) at New York Giants
The Panthers could surprise a lot of people this season. They showed a great pass rush in the preseason and that’s without All-Pro Julius Peppers, who’s now a member of the Chicago Bears.
New York’s defense specializes in getting pressure on the quarterback but Carolina is more committed to the running game than any other team in the league.
Pick: Panthers
Soak it in now boys because this time next year we might be seeing scrappy-dos playing or even worse… gulp… no pro football at all. Sorry UFL, but until you get more than like five teams, I’m not calling your product professional.
I can just see myself in mid-November of the strike season, so desperate for NFL action that I’m betting on simulated Madden games on my PS3.
I’ll lose the right to be undisturbed in my man cave Sunday afternoons and Monday nights. Instead, I’ll be forced to take the wife to the latest Reese Witherspoon movie and I’ll be working double duty changing poopy diapers.
All of this will happen because the players and owners of the most profitable sports league in the world don’t know how to share.
Roger, DeMaurice… think about what you’re doing to me. You’re killing Independent Ashton!
Okay, the self-pitying part of this column is over. Let me breakdown how this weekly feature works for all you NFL Underdogs newbies out there.
Every week, I pick out my three favorite plays for teams catching points. I expect you, the reader, to send thank you e-cards every time I go three for three and sincere, hand-written sympathy notes any week I post a bagel.
Or you can just call me four-letter words - like most people do - in the comment boxes below. Whatever’s easiest.
Detroit Lions (+7) at Chicago Bears
Football Outsiders just wrote a piece talking about how you should start Jay Cutler and any Chicago receiver you have on your fantasy team because they
project the Lions’ secondary to be really, really bad again this season.But other smart men have told me to buy les Lions.
“No team improved more this offseason than Detroit,” Covers Expert Ted Sevransky told me on Wednesday afternoon.
I’m down with Teddy. I love the revamped defensive line and I think Matt Stafford will make a big jump this year.
And don’t forget, the Lions have the Schwartz.
Pick: Lions
Atlanta Falcons at Pittsburgh Steelers (+1.5)
This line is all about the Big Ben factor. You have to think Pittsburgh would be a 5 or 6-point favorite if Mr. No-Means-Yes was on the field.
I’ll take the discount price on the Yellow and Black. The Steelers have shown they can win without Roethlisberger. Fill-in QB Dennis Dixon is an athletic guy, who can make big plays with his arm or his legs.
Pick: Steelers
Carolina Panthers (+7) at New York Giants
The Panthers could surprise a lot of people this season. They showed a great pass rush in the preseason and that’s without All-Pro Julius Peppers, who’s now a member of the Chicago Bears.
New York’s defense specializes in getting pressure on the quarterback but Carolina is more committed to the running game than any other team in the league.
Pick: Panthers
Comments